Art & Science: Nailing the Admissions Essay

The goal may be to give all parts of the application equal attention, but that doesn’t mean that each section requires the same level of effort. As one admissions officer pointed out, most of the application is effectively written even before the student logs in and starts filling it out: grades, test scores, curriculum, rigor and family background are already set, and teacher/guidance counselor recommendations are submitted separately.

This leaves the writing portions of the application, the personal essay and supplemental essays, as arguably the greatest variables. Not surprisingly, when we asked our survey respondents to identify the parts of the application most likely to undermine an otherwise strong application, a 45% plurality said: the essay. However, not far behind were teacher recommendations (39%); extracurricular activities (37%); and supplemental essays (29%). This underscores the importance of taking a holistic, integrated approach.

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Which of the following sections is most likely to undermine an otherwise strong application?

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In a separate question, we asked how likely it is that the essay “makes or breaks” an application, and the response cast a different light. A total of about 40 percent said either “unlikely” (35%) or “very unlikely” (5%). Just 17 percent said “likely,” while 42 percent said “neutral.” In our follow-up interviews, the consensus was that while it was true an exceptional essay could move a student into the admit column, and a truly awful one could be fatal, most often the essay is not determinative. This is not meant to diminish the importance of the essay, but rather put it in some perspective. It’s yet another marker of the prevailing “holistic” admissions philosophy.

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How likely is the main essay to "make or break" an application?

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However, when we asked our admissions officers for their best piece of advice to applicants, and then generated a “word cloud” based on their open-ended responses, by far the largest word, right in the center was: essay.

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In another question, we asked respondents to identify the most common problems with the essay, and the number-one response was “lack of focus/message,” selected by a whopping 75 percent. The issue was perhaps best telegraphed by an admissions officer at a highly selective liberal arts school, who told us that the essay’s message should be so succinct you could fit it on a T-Shirt. “Not down the sleeves and on the back,” she said, "Just on the front.”

Several others echoed this sentiment in various ways, noting that altogether too many essays fail to meet the basic standard of any good story. Usually this means a beginning a middle and an end (though not necessarily in that order), and always with a conflict and, most important, a resolution. The single-most important thing is to show some progression, change and growth. The essay should also provide insight into the student’s values and how he or she thinks and takes on challenges.

Far behind, at roughly equal levels were “boring/unoriginal” (41.5%); inadequately proofed (41.5%); and poorly written (37%). “Obvious adult interference” logged in 28 percent (parents take note!). Somewhat at odds with our “holistic” meta-theme, just 17 percent chose “inconsistent with rest of application.”

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What are the most common errors made in the main essay?

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Being original presents its own special challenges, as it is highly unlikely that a student will come up with a topic that has never before been written about. Three of the most common topics are the sports/injury story, the mission trip and a family crisis of some kind (usually a divorce or death). Every one of the admissions officers we interviewed stressed that while they do not relish reading five essays a day about getting kicked off the field hockey team, the issue is less about the topic itself than what the student brings to it.

Students can be memorable without being original when they let their “voice” do the talking and write an essay that only they could have written. Yes, that is challenging, but so is college. Nor does it need to be a literary masterpiece. It can be simply conceived and written but powerful if it connects on an emotional level and genuinely captures what matters most to the student.

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Next: How Activities Influence Admissions

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Survey: What Do Colleges Really Want?

Getting into college can be a mysterious process. While it’s easy to grasp the importance of hard facts like grades, rigor and test scores, the softer metrics of extracurricular activities, teacher/counselor recommendations and the essays are more difficult to fathom. This is true both for the students who apply and the college admissions officers who decide.

Because of this double-barreled conundrum, The Manners Group, a Westport, CT college counseling practice, decided to reach out to admissions officers at about 100 colleges and universities across the country. Our goal was to get a better sense of how they view the role of admissions factors beyond the numbers.

We received a total of 54 complete responses, largely concentrated within highly selective, Eastern seaboard schools, but also including representation from the South, Midwest and West. We followed up with a series of 30-minute telephone interviews with a total of six, geographically diverse, admissions officers.

Before getting into specific results and our analysis, it’s important to note that admissions criteria vary from school to school, making it unwise to draw sweeping conclusions. In particular, the larger schools tend to be more numbers-oriented while the smaller ones may want to meet each applicant in person before making a decision.

For the purposes of this report, we are assuming the highest standard of acceptance on the theory that it’s usually advisable to exceed expectations. It is also important to remember that choosing appropriate schools to begin with is as important as what goes into the application itself.

That said, if there is one overarching theme that emerged from our survey it is this: Many students would be better positioned for admission if they put equal effort into all parts of the application. While no one section of the application is necessarily “make or break,” it is how clearly and consistently all parts of the application fit together that can make a difference.

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In general, how often do most students tell a cohesive story about themselves across every part of the application?

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Admissions officers often say that they read applications “holistically,” so it is imperative that students write them accordingly. This reality is evident in the response to our survey’s first question: “In general, how often do most students tell a cohesive story about themselves across every part of the application?” The responses were: Sometimes (58.5%); Usually (34%); and Almost Never (7.5%).

That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement of the quality of most applications.

The question then becomes: What does it mean to tell a cohesive story across the application? Based on our followup interviews with admissions officers, it can simply mean making sure that no conflicts create static between each section of the application. At a higher level, it can mean being mindful of potential connecting points between academics, activities, recommendations and essays. This does not mean relentlessly hammering away at a single idea throughout. That could appear forced. It does mean making sure that even ostensibly diverse attributes interact in ways that pull the applicant into multi-faceted focus. When that happens, the student becomes more interesting and memorable.

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Next: The Art of the College Essay

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About this Survey

A total of 54 admissions counselors completed our online survey, six of whom participated in follow-up telephone interviews of approximately 30 minutes each. Our special thanks to Lizzie Leonard of Northeastern University; Aaron Levine of Haverford College; Grace Marchena of Lafayette College; Loretta Kosterman of University of Oregon; Dalton Goodier of Texas Christian University; and Marco Blasco of Gettysburg College.

All online survey responses were aggregated and kept strictly anonymous. Participating schools included: Denison, Brandeis, Bryn Mawr, CalTech, Claremont McKenna, Colgate, Emory, George Mason, Gettysburg, George Washington, Harvard, Haverford, Holy Cross, Kenyon, Lafayette, Lehigh, Macalester, Northeastern, Oberlin, Purdue, RIT, Santa Clara, Sarah Lawrence, Smith, Syracuse, Texas Christian University, U Alaska, U Chicago, U Cincinnati, U Delaware, U Miami, U Richmond, UNC/Chapel Hill, U New Hampshire, Union, and Virginia Tech.

SUNY Purchase Buys Into Senior Housing

The New York Times: “SUNY Purchase is one of a growing number of colleges sponsoring retirement communities on campus or thinking about it … the communities promise a new revenue stream for institutions that are coping with reduced state operating support and declining college enrollment in many parts of the country. They are bringing a new generation (or old generation) to campus to fill classes, eat in dining halls, attend student performances and become mentors … Retirees who are happy to be living on campus, including alumni and faculty members, could become a fertile source of fund-raising.”

“Many students have mixed feelings about sharing their college years with people who remind them of the parents and grandparents whose orbit they have just escaped. Anton Creutzfeldt, a junior at Purchase College, worried that older people would object to noise and late-night partying … Mr. Creutzfeldt said he had been in classes that were audited by old people, and their presence changed the atmosphere.” He comments: “An older person will go on a tangent about something because it’s interesting to them, or they have personal experience with it, while everyone else is just trying to get through the lecture.”

“Other students said they might like having surrogate grandparents on campus. Annie Yang, a senior majoring in economics at the University of Chicago, said she had basically been raised by her grandmother while her parents were working. She said she could see herself living with old people on campus, especially if she got a break on housing fees in return … At Purchase, residents and students will take short courses together, because research has shown that most retirees had little interest in full-length courses. And a student performance space is being built within the retirement complex.”